


Mine

by Ellemae



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Dom/sub Undertones, F/F, Mildly Dubious Consent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-21 11:49:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1549499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellemae/pseuds/Ellemae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She always always wants to please. Will do what Snow wants, what Charming wants, what Henry wants. </p><p>Regina wonders what Emma wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It starts accidentally. 

Emma, in a way that shocks Regina, is incredibly submissive in bed. She's beautiful of course, panting and eyes wide and oh so green.

They've always spoken more than words with their eyes, and Emma's eyes tell her how desperately Regina is wanted.

But she doesn't speak, never asks, barely moves without express permission.

Regina wonders if Emma was like this with Neal, or if it is because of him.

She goes down on Regina once, but it's after her head has been forced between Regina's legs, a direct order given, multiple direct orders really until Regina interrupts herself with the groan of orgasm. 

Regina maintains eye contact as long as she can and thus knows Emma is pleased. 

Still, she is more submissive then Graham when he didn't have a heart.

And Regina, more than anyone, understands that Emma Swan can feel. Can love.

Perhaps not love Regina, but love nonetheless. 

Regardless of her general feelings, she repeatedly and willingly comes to Regina's bed. 

She is loud and brash and so very very Emma in every way until her body hits the sheets.

And then she is not.

She lets Regina touch and suck and nuzzle and afterward she gets up and gathers her clothes and walks out the door.

She doesn't make eye contact.

On the seventh time (or eighth or ninth, at this point Regina has truly lost track), frustration becomes too much.

Regina has some virtues; patience is not one of them.

"Stay!" She snaps, a direct order. Like she is still a queen.

And Emma stays.

More than that, the blank look fades, for the briefest moment, into one of content.

They sleep.

When Regina wakes Emma is still sleeping. Considering the sun is barely glinting through the curtains it is unsurprising that the savior is still asleep.

What is surprising is the way she sleeps.

Emma is tightly curled in the fetal position, a thumb stuck in her mouth, her other hand clenched in a tight fist.

Regina doesn't know how long she stares, but when Emma blinks from the bright sun in her eyes Regina smiles down at her.

Emma freezes and apart from yanking her thumb from her mouth she does not move.

Her eyes are wary.

"Emma?" Regina sighs.

"May I kiss you?"

Regina wants to offer reassurance but she's never freely given that to anyone but Henry, honestly knows not how to do so. Instead in the face of silence she reverts to orders.

"We will kiss now." She leans over and brushes Emma's mouth, pleased and surprised by the eager response.

She pulls away and Emma remains curled and silent.

"Come here."

It is an order again and she is less surprised when Emma instantly obeys, sitting up and crawling into Regina's lap where she perches awkwardly.

"Closer."

Her tone is brusque but her touch is gentle as she clutches Emma against her, hand sliding repeatedly though blonde waves.

Finally she risks a look down, worried that she'll meet terrified green eyes.

Instead Emma's eyes are closed, her chest rising slowly, face pressed into Regina's breast.

Regina traces the savior's figure; her body is relaxed, her mouth slack and face free of worry, her hands idling by her sides unclenched.

What was it like with Neal?

Now that Regina has given Emma orders, she pays more attention to when others do the same.

She'd never noticed before how much they do so.

It's not that Emma only takes orders, not exactly.

She is still personable, still talks back, still brash.  

But she always always wants to please. Will do what Snow wants, what Charming wants, what Henry wants.

And Regina wonders what Emma wants.

What Regina wants is to ask, but she knows that she'll get no answer.

Regina is more demanding in the bedroom now, literally makes demands. Wants Emma to be more equal, and orders it so.

Emma always obeys and always relaxes once Regina has ordered her into her arms. 

Regina wonders if this ultimate control is too much, but the one thing she never orders Emma to do is appear in her bedroom.  

Regina sees the fact that Emma now climbs through the window every night as proof positive that she wants to be there.

It is when they have slept together twenty or thirty or some other number of times that Regina can't recall, except that it is not a small number but no where close to a year, that she notices Emma's eyes.

Emma still tries to follow all orders, to please everyone, but anytime anything is asked of her in Regina's presence, her eyes flick toward the older woman first.

Regina ruled a world once, but is not sure she wants this kind of power.

Regina may be queen of masks but even she has a hard time hiding distain when certain things are asked of Emma.

And so for the first time ever Emma says no; to her mother to her father to Henry.

And it is too much power.

Regina tries to bring it up, to talk about what is going on.

"I'm sorry," Emma mumbles, clambering halfway out of bed. "I'll go."

"Emma." That alone is an order and Emma stills, Regina's hand wrapped around her wrist.

Looking at the other woman Regina sees that her eyes glisten with unshed tears, and perhaps for the first time she sees through Emma's walls.

There is fear and terror pure and simple. Not of Regina but of...

"I'm sorry," Emma gasps. "I'll leave."

"No." Regina is loud and forceful. "Sit on my lap."

Emma's walls are still down and Regina sees the desperation to please, to be kept.

Regina possessively curls an arm around Emma's tense waist. 

"You can't leave." She says definitively in Emma's ear. "You are mine."

A harsh sob escapes Emma, and Regina looks down aghast, worried she is wrong.

But Emma is burrowing her head into Regina's side, clutching Regina's waist, as though there is no way to get close enough.

"Careful," Regina gasps when Emma hugs too hard.

There is an instant release of pressure, though Emma is still wrapped around her.

Regina looks down to see a tentative face staring at her, chin brushing the once evil queen's stomach.

Regina offers a small smile and Emma beams in response.

Then she tucks herself back against the older women and gives a sleepy sigh.

"We will talk about this."

Emma softly nods, the movement brushing Regina's abs.

They sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about continuing this, if there are enough requests for me to do so.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If she's owned she can't be abandoned. She's finally safe.

PART ONE

The irrefutable truth is that she's possessive.

If anything she holds on too tight, loves too hard, grasps at people as they try to flee her presence and refuses to ever let go.

She's taken hearts to keep people with her, worked literal magic so that she doesn't have to feel abandoned again.

Yet she failed with Henry in more way than one.

She held on so hard she broke whatever they had, and even now she doubts they'll ever get it back.

She wants to say she learned from that mistake, but she doesn't know how the lesson applies to Emma.

Emma who never says what she wants, who seems happiest receiving orders, who shrinks from praise even as it brings the faintest blush and smallest smile.

Emma who created Henry is nothing like him. And everything like him.

And it's a riddle Regina cannot solve.

She lost Henry, will she lose Emma? She is realizing more and more how much that would devastate her.

Loosing Henry fractured her heart, loosing Emma would break it completely.

She does not love Miss Swan. She is not capable of such things.

What does Emma want?

In bed Emma glows after orders, she relaxes when she is possessed. Claimed. Not violently but firmly and absolutely with strong words and strong hands and tight post-coital hugs that refuse to let go no matter how much she squirms until she relaxes and sighs (in relief?), and presses hesitantly close close closer to Regina's body until she is practically an extension of the other woman.

She relaxes more quickly when she is dragged toward Regina after sex, shoved against the older woman's body so that every part of them touches.

On those nights she is as silent as all the others except for tiny sighs of contentment which punctuate the bedroom until she sleeps.

Mornings are their biggest problem.

Emma seems to think that after she wakes and dresses and silently leaves the house that there is an expectation for her to be loud and crass and acts accordingly.

Regina would prefer it if Emma stayed curled in her arms for longer, even though she detests snuggling as it is far too juvenile for former evil queens (it's unclear, even in her own mind, if she hates the action or just the word).

It's not that loud crass Emma isn't the real Emma because she is; but it's the part of Emma that was created to survive, to fight as best she could for the best she could get.

Regina knows that better than most. The Evil Queen.

It's not happy Emma.

Leopold never tied her with ropes or chain but he tied her down in other ways.

One time Regina took Emma's handcuffs and locked Emma's hands above her head, latching Emma to her bed, before forcing Emma to suck and suck on her throbbing clit.

And afterward, for perhaps the first time ever, Emma grinned in bed.

Her eyes flicked up to the cuffs that were still restraining her and then she looked directly at Regina and grinned.

Leopold would hold her hands above her head, even though she never fought because what is the point of fighting a battle you can never win, and afterwards he would leave her chamber and she would be alone again with memories and purple bruises on her wrists.

"Oh, I'm sorry dear," Regina likes to be gentle after she is harsh so her voice is soothing, "let me unlock you."

The grin leaves Emma's face.

And Regina strains to hear her whisper, "lose the key."

Maybe Regina is too possessive, but all Emma wants is to be possessed.

PART TWO

There's a knock on the door that Regina only hears because she's in the front hall watering a plant.

A funny sort of coincidence of timing that Regina instantly recognizes because life has trained her to think of all situations or suffer the pain of death.

She opens the door and it's Emma Swan.

"I woulda used the window but--" Emma slurs and gestures at herself.

Then she half hiccups half giggles."Probably not safe right now."

"Yes dear," Regina steps aside so that Emma can get inside.

"You are quite intoxicated aren't you?" Regina raises an eyebrow and looks her up and down.

Emma stumbles into the house and automatically heads toward the bedroom.

She stares at her feet as she takes hesitant steps, and she struggles to stay upright.

Then there is a strong arm around her waist, helping her navigate the hallway.

She almost falls on the stairs, but the banister catches them, and that's the hardest part.

Regina sits Emma on the bed and starts to undress her, yanking off clothes that stink of cigarettes and cheap beer.

She's naked when she leans toward Regina and begs. "Fuc'me."

And Regina would be surprised by the request (Emma never asks for anything in bed, certainly not verbally).

But her breath releases an overwhelming stench of tequila and beer and tobacco, and that's sufficient distraction.

"Pleassee," Emma begs again, punctuating the statement with a loud hiccup.

She looks so much like Henry when she whines.

"You whining like our son doesn't help your case."

"Huh?" Emma pouts and flops backward on the bed.

Regina wonders again who the real Emma is--maybe this one, still malleable yet willing to ask for what she desires, but submissive enough to make no attempt to take what she wants--maybe that's the real Emma.

"Stand up," Regina orders, and almost instantly Emma is struggling to do so.

Regina reaches over and helps, grabbing Emma's flailing hands and managing to get the woman upright.

As she places Emma in the tub and washes her, she stares into bleary unfocused eyes and wonders if now is a good time for questions.

If she wants truth that badly.

But Emma's submission has always been given, at least somewhat knowingly, and she cannot.

In bed she strokes damp blonde hair and spoons the younger woman.

For a longtime the silence in the dark room is only broken by Emma's drunken hiccups.

Then she slurs, "they told me today."

Regina's hand pauses for just a moment but she won't ask for more, not when Emma is so very very intoxicated.

She returns to raking her hand through damp waves.

Emma struggles but manages to turn in Regina's arms until they are facing.

Emma opens her mouth and sighs and her breath smells like a mix of alcohol and mint from the toothpaste Regina brushed in her mouth.

She whispers, so softly it can barely be heard, a feat that's impressive given her current state.

"My mother's pregnant." 

Regina knows Emma well enough to understand this.

She tightens her hold, stares into unfocused eyes, and states firmly.

"You are mine. You belong to me."

Emma exhales a long shaky sigh.

And this time Regina doesn't care about the alcohol.

She wipes the tears from Emma's cheeks and brushes the softest kiss against her lips.

Emma adjusts her body as she always does, though tonight she's sloppy like she's moving through molasses.

Her head is pressed into Regina's stomach. Her arms around Regina's waist.

Regina pets Emma's head and smiles as the savior nuzzles her stomach with sleepy hiccups and sighs; the superiority of her position does little for her tonight.

When Regina's alarm goes off Emma sits up too.

"Heyyy," Emma manages, struggling valiantly to keep her eyes at half mast.

"Lie down," Regina tells her, and it's not a request.

Emma immediately lies down again, but she doesn't snuggle into the covers until she feels Regina's hand rubbing her back.

"Sleep." Regina orders.

So she sleeps.

The next time she wakes up the room is shadowed again, her head is pounding and her mouth is so very dry.

She's not sure how long she lies in wait, but then Regina is there helping her to sit up and sip eagerly from a glass of icy water. Popping pain meds in Emma's mouth before dropping a small kiss on her forehead.

Afterward Regina helps her stay upright, wrapping an arm around her waist and helping Emma ease her aching head onto Regina's shoulder.

"Maybe..." Regina sounds hesitant for once.

But she wants this if it is what Emma wants. Wants to help.

"Maybe...we are a family."

She pulls Emma's face from her shoulder, holds it between her hands, and all she can see is want.

Regina nods sharply. "We are a family."

She declares like an official proclamation in court.

The irrefutable truth is that she's possessive.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you wanted to see Emma's POV, and I may write an accompanying piece for that.
> 
> I know that this is not at all how Dom/Sub relationships are typically rewritten in fic, and I'm not entirely sure it even fits into the standards of that kind of relationship (feel free to chime in!), however I wanted to stay psychologically true to my version of the characters. I welcome all of your comments and options.
> 
> Please let me know if you think this is a good stopping point or if you'd like to see this continue!


	3. Chapter 3

PART ONE

It's a Tuesday.

It's also raining.

In the greater scheme of things those details hardly matter. 

But still, years later whenever Regina thinks of that day she remembers it was raining. It was Tuesday.

Heels are a huge inconvenience in the rain, but Regina has never let anything stand in her way before, and the collision of rain and high fashion won't stop her now.

So she's carefully shaking off her umbrella (so as not to splatter her grey pencil skirt) and watching her step (so as not to land face first on the slippery floor) when she enters the diner. She catches the door with her hip, ignores the jangling bell that is so commonplace she hardly ever notices it anyway.

What she does notice, once she finally looks up, is that Snow White is staring at her.

Regina stands in the middle of the dinner, one hand clutching her still dripping umbrella. Finally, swallowing a sigh, she slides her mask firmly in place and walks authoritatively toward Snow's booth. This time she doesn't look at the ground.

She meets Snow's eyes and smiles tightly. "Good morning."

"What," Snow actually pauses to take a sip of tea. Still, this is no meek school marm. This is Snow White of the Forest and bows and arrows and huntsmen and an almost (but never quite) stolen heart. "are you doing with my daughter."

She knew this was coming. But she has no response. She is always prepared--life has trained her to think of all situations or suffer the pain of death.

"What ever do you mean?"

Snow takes another sip and raises a quizzical eyebrow. Sometimes it's clear who helped raise her.

Regina sighs out loud this time. "I'm not doing anything to harm her. Or you."

Regina for once isn't being selfish. Perhaps because she doesn't need to be. She has no real doubts about Emma. 

The girl is hers. 

She's still not entirely sure in what capacity, but she knows if there is a battle Snow will lose.

Emma, for someone who has lived her entire life without people, needs them now. 

Willingly goes against her own standoffish nature to attempt relationships with Ruby, with Snow, with Charming, with Henry. 

And in a sense with Regina.

Regina believes that Emma would agree with her when she says that there is no escaping what they have now. 

Not for Emma.

Not without breaking further.

Cora used magic to hold Regina captive; strung her up like she was a puppet on iron strings. 

But there was no need. Regina would have done what was asked of her eventually, for there was no escaping her mother.

Regina and Cora are the same. 

Except Regina knows what Cora did not. Regina doesn't need to use magic. Emma will never escape.

Regina isn't her mother but she is but she isn't but...

Emma isn't her mother.

Snow looks at her for a solid minute and it almost (almost) makes Regina want to squirm awkwardly like Henry when he's doing his math homework.

"Stop it, whatever it is," orders Snow.

Then she leaves.

Regina doesn't know what it is, so how can she possibly stop?

Except that night when Emma lets out a pleased moan she knows that whatever it is she's never willingly letting it go.

Family.

Interestingly, or perhaps not, perhaps Snow said something to Emma too, the next morning is the first that she stays.

Emma is in her normal position, head pressed into Regina's stomach and arms clutching her waist as though afraid that Regina will abandon her in the middle of the night.

They never talk about such things, but who's to say that's never happened before.

Regina wakes up first and doesn't even attempt to hide her smile. Emma is relaxed in sleep, mouth slack and drooling, leaving a small damp patch on Regina's shirt.

Emma wakes up like she always does. Her whole body stiffens, tension making her face tight and mouth solemn. It's at this point that she normally opens her eyes.

So Regina closes hers. Feigns sleep. Waits for the inevitable hurricane that is Emma rushing out of her room and her house.

Today it turns into an accidental waiting game.

It takes Regina shockingly long to realize that Emma is not running away.

She knows Emma is awake, perhaps Emma knows she is too?

"Regina?" Emma's voice is raspy in the morning. Regina never knew.

She doesn't respond with words but instead reaches down and caresses Emma's hip.

Emma slumps back against her, tension gone as quickly as it came. And that is all it takes. Regina never knew.

She pulls the sleepy savior up her body, until she has a heavy Emma blanket covering every inch of her but her own face. 

Then she kisses her hard. Snakes her tongue in Emma's mouth morning breath be damned.

This is her...

Emma is...

Here.

PART TWO

It's still raining. 

It's a gloomy grey day that makes even Regina want to curl up under a blanket with a cup of coffee and a book followed by a nap as she listens to the rain hitting the bit of gutter outside the living room that always echoes a 'click, click, click, as droplets bounce on it.

It's also a Wednesday.

So after she's done with Emma, she licks coated fingers and relishes the taste in her mouth.

Emma is splayed naked and sweating on the bed. Eyes tracking Regina's every movement, waiting for orders.

Regina toys with her own clit for a while, partly because she is turned on and can't stop herself and partly because she likes watching Emma.

Her savior's pupils dilate, her focus fixed on Regina's actions. But her face stays blank waiting for orders.

"I am going to fuck you very hard with this, dear."

Regina opens a box to display what she ordered off the internet.

It is a sleek dildo, not huge but by no means tiny. 

Emma's face betrays her panic. And for the first time Regina is concerned about her plan.

"Honestly," her tone is stern, demanding of an honest answer. "Are you worried about it?"

"No, I don't know, it's big."

It isn't really.

"You've had sex with men. With Neal. This is no bigger than average."

Emma just stares at it.

"Did sex with Neal hurt?"

"Dunno." Still she stares.

"Emma." An order.

"I was always drunk," she says matter-of-factly. "Or sometimes high."

"Drugs?" It surprises Regina, yet it doesn't.

"We were on the streets, we were young. It felt good to have a drink. Drugs were everywhere too and they were a release." An unfocused smile flashes across Emma's face, there's fond remembrance there and Regina doesn't like.

"You don't use drugs now." It's not a question but a command.

Yet Emma answers. "I'm with you." 

It's the first verbal acknowledgement Regina has been given.

PART THREE

It's still raining. The sun is hidden. It feels gloomy and ominous.

It rains all day.

Regina watches droplets slide down her office window as she attempts to peer below, to get a glimpse of Emma.

Emma always gets lunch at the same time, and although Regina doesn't like to admit it, she often gets up from her desk and stands at the window just to see the blonde for a moment.

Today there's no Emma.

Is it the rain? An emergency in the sheriff's office?

She no longer holds true power, she is just an administrative lackey, who would tell her about an emergency?

Is Emma hurt?

The rain is ominous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments! This has at least one more chapter coming (don't worry, I'm not so cruel I'd end on a cliffhanger!).


	4. Chapter 4

PART ONE

It is not until nighttime that Regina allows her paranoia to fully take hold. 

It is pouring rain, a steady strumming on her roof, as she leans against the cold cold window.

Emma comes every night now, she reminds herself. Emma wants to be here. She must for she comes.

But tonight there is no bedraggled savior tripping over her windowsill. 

It is raining but Emma has arrived in the rain before. In thunderstorms no less.

In storms far worse than this.

Thoughts are storming in Regina's mind.

She could call Henry, but her son has not reached out to her for weeks. Would he take her call? Would it be given, for Snow...

Snow, would she answer Regina's questions? After this morning it is doubtful.

But Emma is their daughter and surely that comes first, at least this once.

For fear and threat and magic trees were so very long ago.

Finally hands shaking (it is the cold, just the cold) Regina dials their apartment.

And thanks the heavens profusely that Charming answers.

"David," she clears her throat. "David," the other moniker doesn't fit. "Have you seen Emma?"

"Emma?" He sounds more curious than concerned. Like she's asking about a sweater that she may have left in their apartment and not his daughter. Not that Regina would be caught dead in something or somewhere so pedestrian. Emma though--

"I haven't seen her. You know, she likes to have time to herself sometimes."

Now that's a mouthful. It's also incorrect. She likes (is the word like acceptable?) to spend time with Regina.

"Could you," Regina clears her throat again. "Could you ask your...family?"

She means Henry. And also Snow.

She can almost hear his shrug in the silence on the phone's other end.

Finally finally he is back.

"Nah, is it urgent?"

That depends. Is Emma in a ditch.

She's heard tell that parents of this realm worry themselves with such things.

She never worried like that, for Henry rarely was out of her sight except that one time with that abandoned mine and that was really the fault of Emma

where is she.

Emma, she thinks of the blonde with wide green eyes naked and surprised and insecure, Emma would not expect to be missed.

Regina notices.

She needs the wolf.

PART TWO

Ruby is not as hesitant as Regina would think.

She merely quirks an eyebrow, nods, and accepts the challenge.

It's not that the task is easy, but still she finds Emma far faster than anyone else ever would have.

Except, of course, for Snow and the Blue Fairy.

Still speed does nothing to alleviate the shock when Ruby shows her what she has found.

Regina has been here before, the creation indeed all hers.

Under the hospital, past a fake emergency exit, down down down concrete steps.

She hid Belle here once upon a time.

How long would they have hidden Emma?

She sees blonde hair first, the savior is crouching on her heels staring at the floor her hair a curtain hiding her from the outside world. Much like this prison cell would have.

Because sure this is a hospital but Regina designed this prison.

Once she opens the door she realizes that Emma is naked.

She smells urine and vomit and perhaps that is explanation enough. She certainly doesn't need to know more.

"Emma," her voice is the softest it has ever been. When there is no response she tries again. "Emma."

Green eyes peer up at her between strands of hair.

She walks closer stopping right in front of Emma.

And Emma raises her arms like a toddler asking to be picked up before rapidly pulling them back and cowering as though she expects some retribution for the action.

Regina has never learned patience. Before. 

She waits.

Emma crawls to Regina's feet, her cheek pressed against Regina's ankle. She is naked, shivering, her face blank but lined with tears.

Regina wants to move closer but doesn't dare. Worried that moving closer will make Emma move further away.

Still so slowly slowly so very slowly she bends her knees 'til she is level with her savior.

"Emma," she says so softly it is almost nonexistent. 

Still Emma flinches against her ankle.

"I'm not mad. I was worried."

There is no response to that.

Regina bends her knees and slides her arms under Emma struggling but achieving her goal.

Emma is still distant but she is also here in Regina's arms.

"Very worried," Regina mutters as she clutches Emma to her.

PART THREE

Regina settles into bed still clutching her savior. 

Her clothes are damp and her hair is a mess and her make-up is ruined and there will be mud on the sheets.

But Emma is here.

Still naked, salt track marks still visible she is no longer shivering. Damp face pressed into Regina's stomach.

"You are safe."

It's an order.

When light pours through the curtains and the sun rises like it always does neither of them has slept.

Still Emma's breathing is now steady and the occasional trailing tears have stopped completely.

And Regina knows that it is time.

"Tell me."

Emma stiffens but nods.

"She," her voice is rusty. 

"Your mother?" Regina prods.

"Yeah," Emma is so very tense but Regina doesn't dare touch her, though she knows her touch relaxes Emma. She wants to offer reassurance but worries it will end this story before it has even begun. And she needs to know the ending. They both do.

"My mother. She wanted to meet for lunch, and you know I like to eat so," Emma is self-degrading. 

Regina is silent.

"We met, she knew about us or, I dunno, she knew something. And she said," Emma laughs and it is a horrible sound. 

Regina never wants to hear it again.

"She said you'd cast a spell on me, like magic, that you'd ruined me. But that she would fix it."

Regina stiffens at that because Emma is broken but she doesn't need to be fixed she is perfect. 

Perfect for Regina.

"Then I got real dizzy and she must've drugged my drink or food because I woke up--"

"In the cell." Regina says quietly. When did her voice get so soft?

"Yeah," she huffs a little sigh. It is so Emma that all Regina wants to do is hug her and never let go but it's not time yet. 

"The Blue Fairy was there and she..."

Emma trails off and swallows hard and it's clear that she's not going to continue.

"She hurt you." Regina's voice is no longer soft but pure steel.

"Yeah."

"And your mom was there. She watched."

"Yeah."

Regina has no surprise that the fairy would do such a thing, for personal gain of control or Emma's magic or something else entirely it matters little what. 

Blue, she has never trusted Blue.

How dark is Snow's heart?

Or is she so naive?

Ignorant of Emma's past, of reminders that a cage and punishment would dredge up. 

Only Regina knows how to punish Emma.

Still Snow should have been aware.

She either didn't think or didn't care and they are both equally horrid realizations.

She has been hesitant to use magic knowing what Emma may have endured but her clothes are wet and though she cares little if she is cold Emma is shivering again and it's no longer from fear and none of this is acceptable.

"Close your eyes. Trust me."

It's no surprise that Emma does.

She doesn't want Emma to see the sparks of magic. 

Still she herself watches as the color lights up the room in little bursts.

The bed is dry, Regina and Emma both naked, wrapped in layers of flannel and fleece.

Emma's tiny sigh lets Regina know this was the right decision.

She wraps her arms very very tightly around Emma and glares at her window until the curtain slides shut and it is dark as night.

Emma's eyes flutter shut remarkably quickly and she nuzzles into Regina her breathing slowing deep with sleep as her mouth falls open and damp against Regina's stomach and she sucks lightly on Regina's skin.

Regina stays awake and watches over Emma and plans their next move.

Worrying. Wondering.

Do they take Henry?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe one more chapter? My biggest pet peeve is when stories drag on for too long, but I'd like to at least offer something of a conclusion. Thoughts?
> 
> You can also find me on Tumblr at ellemaefic -- I take prompts & welcome comments!


	5. Chapter 5

PART ONE

She looks up from her folding when she hears the whimper.

Eyes instantly trained on the savior who is fighting the sheets, almost silent as though making the slightest noise will be her downfall.

Regina watches for a moment then it ends and she goes back to packing.

It isn't until she finishes perhaps the most important phone call of her life that she gives in to her base desire.

Emma is awake but trembling, her thumb firmly stuck in her mouth like that morning so many weeks ago, her eyes tracking Regina's every movement.

Emma needs her.

She lies down on her side next to Emma, a firm touch encouraging the savior to roll on her back. 

She plants a soft kiss on Emma's shoulder and smirks gently at the responding tremble.

"Can I help you?"

Emma is even more quiet than she was before.

"Emma I need you to tell me it's all right."

"Okay." She mouths.

Regina nods. "Close your eyes."

When Emma does Regina gently eases her thighs apart, gently rubbing Emma's crotch.

She doesn't enter her, doesn't try too hard, just gently strokes over and over and over.

"Ughh-huh." Emma finally grunts, a wave of liquid coating Regina's hand.

And a wave of possessiveness rolls over Regina.

"Mine," she growls. 

Emma doesn't look frightened by the harsh exclamation. Instead she appears more relaxed than she has been since Regina found her in the cell. The hard orgasm coupled with her desire to do what Regina wants soothes her.

Regina takes a deep breath. "I've packed for you."

It is proof positive that this is the right decision when Emma doesn't even ask where they are going.

Still, tension and panic return to Emma as she follows Regina out of the house. Eyes darting around furtively, waiting to be snatched.

Regina senses this and grasps Emma's upper arm in a way that an outside observer would view as far too brutal. 

It grounds Emma.

As they begin to drive Regina reaches over and gently brushes Emma's mouth with a tissue. Wiping away the blood that has gathered from Emma biting her lower lip.

"She did not break you."

Regina doesn't get a reply, but she doesn't need one. Her Emma whoever or whichever Emma that is, she's in hiding now but she's a survivor.

If they are nothing else Emma and Regina are survivors.

They drive and drive and drive and Regina tries so very hard to hide her fear.

Storybrooke is dangerous for her, but it is known danger. It is the bee that will sting you if you are too close or threatening. The rest of the world is honey, sweet but everywhere a potential trap, the unknown--

Emma's hair is the color of honey and Emma when she lets her rough edges fade away well she can be sweet--

And she is conked out again. Cheek smushed against the passenger window with her neck at an angle that will surely cause extreme pain and require Regina's expertise later.

A dribble of drool is escaping the side of her mouth and it says much of Regina's state of mind that she finds it both endearing and adorable.

The highway is dark when Regina pulls up to the house, her headlights are the only source of light for miles, and her eyes ache from squinting in an attempt to see deer that may be their demise.

She knows more than most that wildlife is never tame or truly friendly.

Unless you are Snow White.

And she is nothing like Snow neither is her daughter and Regina's mother warned her of such things and Regina is her mother but she isn't but she is--

Emma jerks awake beside her, breath frantic eyes wild searching and hands scrambling.

Until she makes out the shadow of Regina and slumps in relief.

No one has ever wanted the Evil Queen to be lurking in the shadows 

but Emma, Emma is perfect for Regina.

Regina doesn't need Emma to speak to know that she needs answers.

"We're in the woods, still in Maine. It's a rental house. For sightseers I suppose. I know it appears to be isolated but actually there's a town nearby, you will see when it's light. It ought to have all the furnishings we need inside, pots and pans and bedding and--"

Regina rambles when she's nervous.

Emma gives the slightest head tilt and far be it for Regina to know if it is an indication of understanding or desire to leave the car or pure confusion.

Since it works out better for Regina if it is the first two, and she prefers to see what she wishes, she unbuckles Emma's seatbelt before opening her own door.

"Let's go inside."

She hears Emma stumbling after her, almost catapulting out of the car so that she can practically glue herself to Regina's back.

It would be adorable if it weren't so sad.

It confirms one thing. Her savior needs this. Perhaps she does too.

PART TWO

People are friendly at first. They always are.

That first morning she sneaks out before the sun has shown his face, the sky a pale pink that reminds her of baby Henry's skin

she shakes off that thought and focuses on hurrying for the faster she leaves the faster she can return

Emma for all her self degradation is correct, she needs to eat.

She needs basic comforts.

She needs to be alone except for Regina.

Emma is not ready for this trip to town nor is she ready to be alone so Regina hurries

Emma is sitting up in bed clutching the jacket that Regina left face trembling holding back tears

And a smile actually appears when Regina walks through the main door swaying under the weight of groceries,

the smile is small but it is there and of course Regina notices.

She lowers the groceries (no matter the haste she will not drop them) and strides toward her sleep-rumpled savior and lowers herself to Emma's level (and no one would ever expect her to lower herself) and moans against Emma's mouth as her tongue disappears inside.

She left the jacket as a sign

(One time Regina somewhat sarcastically remarked that the jacket was one of the only things she ever purchased, it wasn't curse created but rather acquired with money during the same trip that she received her son and consequently after Henry nothing was worth more to her)

the way Emma is clutching the fabric like she will never let go tells Regina it was a good sign to leave to say she would return.

Regina eases it out of Emma's hand and onto Emma's body.

"The order is you and Henry and then this jacket."

And Emma, standoffish uncomfortable with affection Emma, wraps her arms around Regina and hugs her.

Finally she pulls away the sweetest blush across her face and asks softly, "Henry?"

"Tomorrow." And Regina walks back over to the groceries and holds out a hand to Emma and brings them all into the kitchen.

Emma is tentative on her feet like a colt just learning to walk and Regina doesn't like it. Silently cursing the Blue Fairy she settles Emma on a stool on one side of the modern kitchen island.

"You don't have magic here?" Emma almost stutters.

And when Regina turns to look at her she realizes a shocking thing. Others have always been terrified of her magic, Emma is scared of the lack of it.

"No."

Emma swallows hard.

"But," she crouches down at Emma's level. "Neither does anyone else."

She moves away back to the stove and begins boiling water for the simple pasta dish she plans on spoon feeding to Emma if necessary. She was barely gone at all but she looks pale and sickly and that will not do.

She can feel eyes tracking her as she moves and finally it is too much for Emma and there is the slightest pressure on Regina's back and she turns to see Emma lightly touching her and looking hesitant as though worried that she cannot touch Regina cannot move without permission.

Regina simply smiles and returns her attention to sautéing onions and mushrooms and Emma shifts a little closer and closer until she is pressed against Regina's back with her head resting on Regina's shoulder.

She seems to know instinctively when Regina is done which is somewhat funny since it has been suggested that Emma's own cooking skills are obsolete.

Later, after Regina has decided that Emma is sufficiently fed, and her gaze is lidded, Regina leads her into the shower.

As they stand naked together under the steam and pounding water Emma finally finally cries. Racking sobs that she muffles with her fist and Regina aches because here with the pounding water and two doors between her and the rest of the world is the only place Emma feels safe enough to cry and all she can think is of all the times that this has happened before. Families lost and Emma abandoned and -- Emma claws for Regina, desperate it seems to be close to her. And Regina hugs her tightly reassured that her presence is desired, and sways back and forth rocking the savior under the haze.

"Mine," she mumbles into Emma's sopping hair and it is a mantra, "mine mine mine."

Gradually oh so gradually Emma relaxes against her, and it is when she has slumped bonelessly against Regina and her tears have eased that it is time.

"Sit," she orders. And Emma sits instantly and Regina nods because she thinks most of all Emma needs normalcy and normalcy is Regina telling Emma what to do.

She squeezes shampoo into her hand and kneels behind Emma working the lather through her hair.

When her savior is clean, and Regina hopes so very hard that she is washed of more than dirt, she orders her out of the shower and into clean clothes and into bed.

And though Emma does not speak without permission her eyes ask no beg for Regina to climb in next to her.

"Soon." It is some odd combination of an order and a promise.

"Sleep," she orders, though she suspects Emma will be unable to obey.

"I'll be just outside I promise."

Emma still looks worried so Regina orders her to sit up and dresses her again in the jacket and orders her to lie back down.

"Fifteen minutes," Regina says and she hopes it is a promise she can keep.

Her promises are rarely broken, though she did fail to destroy _her_ happiness (perhaps that is still in motion though oddly no longer really to the fault of Regina).

Once she is outside the room she pauses and breathes deeply and closes her eyes for just a moment then strides confidently to her purse and after finding her phone dials and waits.

"Did you--" she pauses she is placing trust where it may not be warranted and she does not know.

"You worry too much, Regina."

Regina sighs. "Do I?"

There is a long pause on the other end and Regina can almost see Ms. Lucas scratching a hand through her thick hair.

"He's fine," Ruby assures her.

"What have they told him?"

"What do you think?"

Regina speaks dryly. "I have abducted Miss Swan and absconded somewhere for nefarious purposes."

Ruby chokes back what Regina suspects is a laugh, which is hardly appropriate given the circumstances. "Only you would make that sound so fancy."

Regina says nothing to that.

"Anywayyy," Ruby continues awkwardly. "He's with them and I'm watching, but given what they've told him I doubt he'll come willingly."

"Given what he chooses to believe you mean," Regina has to state the truth much as it pains her.

Another awkward silence then softly, "yes."

Ruby sighs. "I could tell him the truth, tell him what we found in that basement but--"

"No." It is a firm interjection. "Emma wouldn't want that and I'm not sure I do either."

"Okay well, I guess I'll just keep watching?"

"All right." Then Regina smiles slightly, "And Miss Lucas if you feel he is in danger I give you full permission to kidnap and abscond."

Ruby chuckles. "Tell Emma..." She pauses perhaps remembering the state they found her in. "Look after Emma for me."

"I always do." And for many months it has been the truth. Regina hangs up the phone.

Emma is lying in the fetal position in the bed, her hand clutching the jacket to her, wrapping it as tightly to her as humanly possible, nose buried in the collar, thumb shoved in her mouth. She is facing the door as though waiting for Regina and it is clear it was not choice but rather exhaustion that forced her into sleep.

Although she doesn't wake she seems to know instantaneously when Regina is in the bed and gravitates toward her, replacing the jacket's collar by shoving her face into the crook of Regina's neck and nuzzling.

Regina chuckles because since when has anyone ever wanted her to be present so badly (except for the little girl so long ago and even she did not want Regina but rather a replacement a mother a substitute)

she smoothes her hand down Emma's back, plants a light kiss on top of her still damp head of hair, and sleeps easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience, it took me a while to decide where I wanted this story to go. The next chapter is almost ready and will be posted tomorrow. I appreciate comments!


	6. Chapter 6

PART ONE

After a week has passed Regina decides that Emma is fit and ready to leave their shelter.

As she leads her into the sunlight Emma blinks like a prisoner just released who is unaccustomed to sun, and how close that simile is to reality causes physical pain.

Still, she thinks that Emma will like the town.

It is very different from Storybrooke. There they were all mixed up in each other's lives, constantly gossiping and joking and fighting. Here they have to get in the car and drive twenty minutes to get to the town, and the center doesn't boast much. There's a small grocery store, one bar, a barbershop/hairdresser's, a diner, and a hardware/hunting supply shop. The closest doctor's office is 10 miles further down the road, the hospital further still, and that is perhaps the only thing that concerns Regina about this community.

Most of the people in the surrounding area are hunters or farmers, and they mainly keep to themselves, trekking into the town when they need supplies or someone to talk to who isn't immediate family. For the most part though, they are content on their properties with their families. It fits in nicely with what Regina wants and Emma seems to need. 

That first day Emma clutches Regina's hand and doesn't let go. She matches Regina step by step thorough the small grocery store, refuses to make eye contact with the man who is at the register (who also happens to be the shop's sole proprietor), and finally breathes again when they're in the car with the doors locked.

They repeat the pattern every few days; the shop's produce isn't fresh enough to buy in bulk, and if Regina's fussy about anything (and honestly she's fussy about a lot) it's good quality food.

Emma, of course, cares far less about the qualify of her food. That becomes quickly apparent. 

The shop's owner's name is Al. And while he doesn't look like an Alfred or an Alexander, the name Al suits him. He is a short man, no taller than Regina, and he has a potbelly and a shiny bald head. You would think he presents no threat at all, but Regina once watched him as he returned from hunting dragging a deer by it's hindquarters before swinging it up and over and onto the back of a truck. There is brute strength there and satisfaction with a kill and Al proves that looks can be deceiving. Still he is not a threat to them.

One day he refers to Emma as Regina's "little lady" and when Regina wonders if that is an insult and turns to look at Emma, she sees that he is being given a rare yet genuine Emma smile. And Regina feels a surge of something that may possibly be affection.

After that Emma seems slightly more comfortable in his presence and he soon learns the exact brand of chocolate bar that she likes. He treats her like a daughter though Al is barely ten years older than Emma, if that. It seems somewhat odd to Regina, but then again it is clearly something that Emma desperately needs. And it makes Regina uncomfortable because Emma deserves a real father and even when she finally got one he wasn't, he isn't, there for her. 

That Emma's trust can be earned through candy shocks Regina. Emma has been thrown away and mistrusts strangers (especially) and even people she knows (especially now) and yet she offers Al small genuine smiles when he sneaks a chocolate bar into Emma's hand and Regina pretends not to notice even though they all know how obvious it is.

Several weeks have passed and Emma is finally starting to come out of her shell in a way Regina feared would never happen. 

She has not only been waiting for orders but has ceased talking. She doesn't offer ideas or ask questions to interact in conversations in a meaningful way. 

The way she constantly yearns for Regina's presence and direction? That tells Regina all is not lost.

Still it is almost too much, complete and utter control of another human being. Even with Henry she never had that. And with Graham who she controlled by heart if not soul, with Graham she cared little of what happened to him. 

With Emma she cares too much. And she wonders if that is a symptom of family.

It is surely unfair that Regina is the one who decides that enough is enough, but she tells herself that she is a queen in her own right and so why should it not be her choice?

They are lying in bed, both having woken only moments ago, and Emma is pressed tightly against Regina's side, and Regina's core aches and aches.

Since the calming orgasm she offered Emma a month ago, they haven't touched one another in that manner. Regina is not one to self satisfy, she's never needed to before. Enough is enough. She squeezes her thighs tightly together. 

"Fuck me." She orders.

Emma looks at her blankly.

"Fuck me," she practically growls. Demands.

And Emma scrambles on top of her, shaking nervously, but proceeds to do as ordered, yanking up Regina's negligee and kissing with a mix of teeth and tongue while she unceremoniously slams three fingers deep inside.

"Yesss," Regina keens, hips lifting off the bed as her eyes roll.

It's been long enough that she comes quickly and hard. 

Emma laps at her hand then props herself next to Regina, who is collapsed on her back on the bed panting and almost cross eyed. 

"Thank you."

Regina almost startles at the sound of Emma's voice, it has been so long.

Once she's over her shock she offers a small hum of satisfaction and acceptance before instantly falling asleep, barely aware of the savior's body draping over hers.

PART TWO

She checks on Henry every day, calling Ruby when she can and texting when she can't. Regina always waits until Emma is asleep. Regina misses Henry desperately, but she knows Emma cannot deal with loosing him a second time. Not when she herself feels the sting of abandonment so harshly. Not when she is already hurt over the fact that she had to give him away, that his best chance was with someone who was not her. She knows instinctively why Emma does not ask for Henry.

She does not know when or if they will get their son back. She does not know what is right. But she has a wolf on his trail, so to speak, and wolves are marvelous trackers so he is not completely lost.

It is on Henry's birthday, which they have both completely ignored, while they are wandering through the store that Emma looks longingly at the wine and then back at Regina.

And Regina sighs and caves (and it is Henry's birthday) and buys four bottles because it is buy one get one free (probably because wine is not standard fare for this town).

Later that night Emma hiccups and offers a goofy grin her teeth stained red. 

"Some more wine, dear?" Regina offers already standing and stumbling back to where she left the bottle.

It's curiously light and she frowns at it, offering a quick shake of her head before she opens another.

She almost falls on her way back to the couch and Emma's giggle is far lighter than it's ever been and perhaps this isn't such a horrendous idea after all.

She generously fills both their glasses to the brim, sloshing wine over the edge of her glass when she swallows a large gulp.

"Delicious," she half slurs half proclaims.

From where she is now slumped over the arm of the couch, Emma gives a nod of agreement. Her glass is empty before Regina has managed half of hers, and her piteous eyes make Regina lean over and fill her glass once more.

Emma drinks steadily before pausing to release a large hiccup.

"You're too far 'way," Regina motions sloppily, "com'ere."

Emma half crawls half scoots toward Regina dropping her glass in the process.

They both startle for a moment watching the dark red spread across the carpet.

"Opps?" Emma offers and it is so very Emma Swan and they are both so drunk that Regina instantly forgets the transgression. 

Emma clambers into Regina's lap. Drinking steadily from the glass that Regina holds up to her mouth between Regina's own swigs.

They finish the wine quickly that way and though Emma smacks her lips and complains that she is thirsty they are both feeling far too lazy to move.

Instead Emma turns in Regina's lap until she is straddling her thighs and they are face to face.

"Good idea?" She grins.

Regina doesn't answer just smiles and then surges forward for a kiss.

They are instantly out of control Regina's hands threaded tightly through Emma's hair in a way that would be remarkably painful if they were any way close to sober. Then Emma's hips are rocking wantonly against Regina's desperately seeking friction as she humps and grinds.

It takes them both longer than normal to come, slow and sloppy from alcohol. 

Afterwards they pant against each other util Regina frantically pushes Emma off of her and stumbles upward. "Restroom," she clarifies, and it would be dignified if Regina's pencil skirt wasn't torn and her makeup wasn't smeared all over her face and she wasn't swaying and tripping her way toward the toilet.

When she returns Emma offers her another glass of wine and she accepts it gratefully and they sit side by side actually sipping the wine slowly and gradually slumping against each other until they both drift into sleep.

They don't leave the house for four days, nursing hangovers that leave them practically bedridden.

On the fifth day they venture out to get groceries. Al looks at them, and he looks serious. "Someone was looking for you both," he addresses Regina though he glances briefly at Emma who has frozen behind her. Regina wonders if he thinks they're hiding from something, if he thinks Emma is escaping someone, perhaps an abusive husband or boyfriend. Her behavior doesn't suggest otherwise.

Emma's breathing is too fast behind her and she needs to get her home before oh lord before all the hard work they have both done is destroyed.

"I didn't tell them nothing." 

"May I call you later for details? I think I ought to..."

Al nods sharply eyes trained on Emma.

They walk out of the store Emma's hand tightly wrapped within Regina's, and so quietly they almost miss it, Emma says, "Thanks, Al."

"Anytime little lady." Al reassures like Emma speaking to him is an everyday occurrence.

Emma offers him a tiny smile and Regina squeezes her hand with pride and perhaps all is not lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe one more chapter maybe two...tell me, how many more would you read? Be honest!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

PART ONE

By the time she's driven back to the rental house, Regina has come up with every possible scenario. She thinks. Every few minutes her eyes flitted to Emma and her concern heightened. That was a distraction but there have been distractions before and Regina knows her mind is logical, almost designed for war and conflict by first her mother and then Rumplestilskin and even, in a sense, the King. She daren't speak, let alone think, his name.

So her mind jumps frantically between who it could be coming to disrupt the small peace they have found and how Emma is doing and what the future will hold and how to avoid the past and the past--she briefly gets caught in the past.

But she shakes that off before any serious harm is done before she has a flashback of events that best be left in the dark of night, but even the hint of a memory of her own terror reminds her of Emma. 

And Emma, it is always about Emma

In some way hasn't it always always been about Emma? 

The curse was in part at least to steal Emma 

the final battle or what she thought would be the end was Emma 

her son is due to Emma 

and now, now this is ultimately about keeping Emma safe.

For Regina once told Henry she doesn't know how to love very well but the truth of the matter is the ultimate problem is that she holds on too tight, loves too hard

not that she loves Emma.

Emma who is sitting ramrod straight whose eyes are alternating between glancing frantically around no doubt trying to see if someone is on their tail (for though it is easy to forget it now her savior was once a bounty hunter after all) and gazing at Regina's face before something there reassures her and her eyes are back on the road ahead, the road behind, the bushes, even the sky.

Regina doubts they'd come by helicopter or plane.

But how did they come?

And she is back to listing every scenario 

it is on repeat in her head even as she puts the car in park, as she opens Emma's door, as she rests a steadying hand on the blonde's lower back and propels her into the house.

She wonders.

Emma could leave because she was never truly cursed, the barrier would never have an effect 

Regina has been able to leave as well, as the caster she was always cognizant, it was easy to leave to get Henry all those years ago and then she never left again because what was the point it was her creation her world why leave 

and there was fear

of the unknown of this new world

Regina straightens her shoulders and rubs a soothing circle on Emma's back before she pushes them toward the living room 

she looks at Emma and sees the fear

and knows that this time as so many times before she needs to lead, to quell, to, in an odd way that she still fights against even as it is an intrinsic part of her, be a queen.

They sit and Emma's eyes are so wide and worried and she leans forward and kisses her because honestly it is all she wants to do.

Somehow that is something helpful and she feels a modicum of tension drain from Emma

and when she raises an arm Emma instantly tucks herself against her side.

She almost screams when Emma speaks.

"Who could it be?"

But she sighs instead and brushes a firm hand from the nape of Emma's neck to the base of her spine and back again. "It's curious. I don't know if you realize but leaving is--difficult."

"Yeah. I keep hoping it's Henry but..."

"We would know if it were Henry." (Or Ruby for that matter but she doesn't bring that up because she never has).

Emma chuckles and it sounds forced even with the genuine smile that for a split second lights up her face. "Knowing you, you have an inside man and you're having him watched all the goddamn time."

"Language!" Regina hisses but otherwise doesn't bother to respond to the very correct assumption.

They sit in silence for a moment

"Someone must have figured out a way around the curse, Rumple perhaps since he created it and also has the necessary magical knowledge."

"He what?" The surprise is clear on Emma's face and Regina can't recall the last time she was this animated.

"Is very good at magic?" Regina says puzzled.

Emma rolls her eyes and Regina practically beams in response. If she knew Emma needed to face a crisis in order to come out of her shell she would have created it no problem

but then she takes in how quickly Emma's exasperation fades into an odd mixture of the blank-faced mask she's been wearing for weeks now and newfound fear and she thinks no she wouldn't have done anything.

"I suppose it could be Blue," Regina sighs, "or anyone else that somehow got Blue or Rumple to assist them."

She doesn't miss the way Emma has stiffened beside her. She wants to ask what the fairy did and wonders briefly if it is related to whoever is looking for them but it matters little because they are coming indeed they are here, somewhere close by, are they watching the house? Do they know where to look? 

"We need to leave." Regina decides. 

Emma tries to hide it but her face drops. 

"Just for a bit," Regina is quick to reassure. 

She knows Emma has found some semblance of peace here and yes it is very hard to take it away but it will hardly be possible for Emma to feel anything if she is dead, far worse if they imprison Emma again.

They sit in complete silence as Regina tries to decide what to do and where to go.

A long time must have passed because when Regina next focuses on Emma, she finally sees the way Emma is fighting sleep practically forcing her eyes open clearly a loosing battle as every few moments they slide closed and she jerks forward snorting in a way that Regina shouldn't but does find completely adorable. And her fist is hovering by her mouth and Regina can see, can actually see, how badly Emma wants the security of her thumb.

"Should we leave tonight?" She never really asks Emma questions because the likelihood of Emma answering them is next to nil.

But this time Emma sleepily shakes her head and Regina nods and stands up and tugs Emma to her feet.

"You need to sleep."

"I'm fine!" 

Emma is swaying slightly on her feet and Regina shakes her head and starts toward the bedroom knowing before it happens that Emma will stumble along behind her.

She lies beside Emma, brushes blonde hair aside and traces patterns on her scalp, their feet entwined on top of the covers.

In many ways this is more than Emma has done in weeks and it is no wonder that exhaustion is hitting her so hard, in many ways fear is a tiring thing once the adrenaline fades and the acknowledgment that nothing can be done is made.

Regina knows that more that most.

spent hours curled up in her chambers still dressed in silks and chiffon and taffeta and lace while exhaustion claimed her.

They spend far too much time sleeping but Emma needs this, needs the physical contact she is still somehow hesitant to seek out in the light. But tonight it is just Emma who will sleep.

PART TWO

In the light of day things, as they are oft to do, appear differently.

Regina has decided they will not run.

She knows Emma will do whatever she is told, but knows equally well Emma will be happier with this decision.

But she didn't make it just for Emma.

In all honestly she, unlike the savior, has never been a runner. Not a successful one anyway (memories of galloping atop a horse and mother's magic and restrictions and vines, vines restricting her), not a runner at all in the face of death and destruction and mayhem, not when she ordered it nor when it came after her.

She stands tall even when she feels so very small inside and she faces things head on and she wins.

They will win this.

Regina looks up from the omelette she is prepping and watches Emma pad softly into the kitchen.

"Hi."

It's quiet but it's there and she's still talking and something loosens inside Regina's chest. 

"Good morning," she smiles at Emma. "Sit down."

And Emma accepts the order instantly. 

Sits down on the kitchen floor, and Regina looks puzzled for a moment before she chuckles and Emma's neck flushes red and she stares at the floor in embarrassment.

"Come here," she demands.

And Emma, blush and all, rises immediately.

"Were you trying to be good?" Regina asks.

Emma still stares at the floor and nods uncertainly.

Regina sighs and Emma stiffens just for a second before Regina's hand reaches out and strokes her cheek.

"You are good."

And Emma tilts her head up and makes cautious eye contact. "Yeah?"

"You don't need to try so hard."

"Oh." It is said very very softly and Emma seems to deflate in front of her.

"Oh no, oh Emma," she reaches out and wraps her arm around Emma's waist, nuzzles into Emma's neck for once. "My Emma. You are perfect for me."

She can feel Emma's hot breath puffing against her cheek and just holds her and when she finally let's go Emma's eyes are glistening with tears and she is looking at Regina like she is her whole world 

and if Regina could love anyone in that moment, well, it ought to be obvious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your tremendous patience and spectacular comments! 
> 
> I know that this is written in an unusual almost poetic style that sometimes defies basic grammar, but my hope is that it better portrays (my) Regina's train of thought.
> 
> One (maybe two) more chapters to go...there should be a shorter wait since one is already almost done.


	8. Chapter 8

PART ONE

Regina may not have magic here, has lost the true source of her power but be it due to entitlement or past experiences or something else entirely she feels oddly comfortable standing guard.

She doesn't hole up inside doesn't hide away because that seems like acquiescing like running.

Instead she brushes a kiss against Emma's brow and watches as the younger woman crinkles her nose and forehead in response. Then she pauses for a second in the doorway and sure enough Emma is still sleeping and there may be a few more lines on her face than when she is tight in Regina's arms but that cannot be helped. So Regina eases the door shut and heads downstairs.

And she stands on their porch a mug of coffee in her hand and watches and waits.

She spoke to Al last night as she watched stars twinkle in the sky that seemed far too cheery and hopeful for the situation at hand.

"Who was it?" Her voice is low and calm because she cannot will not wake Emma it is a new goal of hers and if anyone has excellent follow through it is Regina Mills.

"A man, brownish blonde hair, average height."

Regina huffs.

Al chuckles. "I know not very helpful. Sorry."

"You don't happen to have a security camera, do you?"

"Nope. Sorry 'bout that too."

So she wakes up early and stands on her porch and sips her cooling coffee and waits.

Rumple? Charming? Whale? Someone she has yet to meet? Someone who hates her so much he wants her dead? 

It could be anyone.

She waits.

PART TWO

She sees the shadow first, reflecting on the sidewalk it is the same outline that she saw so very long ago when they placed her ropes and all in front of a firing squad and almost almost ended her miserable life.

She has wished before, far more times than she cares to admit (in all honesty, out loud at least she would never admit it at all) that they had succeeded. Death at the time, at the hands of an enemy so that she could feel she was going out fighting not running away (she has never been a runner), death like that would have been quite welcome.

Which is why she spit in their faces 

Snow and her prince, her charming chosen one

and faced their wraith and then glared at the ground as the sun began to set and their shadows elongated and she prepared to meet her doom.

And now that same shadow is here and she knows not what it brings.

Still, subtle Regina is not. Sneaky perhaps, but never subtle.

"Charming," she drawls from behind him, "that you have decided to honor us with your presence."

And he whips around to face her hand reaching for a sword that is my there, and she wonders why not, and thinks of Emma gazing at the sky and airline security and chuckles.

And somehow her laugh sounds hard and cruel.

It is perhaps merely the situation, that the two of them are meeting again, though in all honesty she doubts he has ever found a noise she made pleasurable 

his daughter on the other hand

well that ought to be obvious.

And thoughts of his daughter reminds her of who he is and who she is protecting and what was done in the past which, well, it simply cannot stay in the past.

This grievance is too fresh.

"What," she growls at him, her stance shifting moderately and her dogged determination has never been more apparent, he is not getting past her, "what are you doing here?"

Charming looks nervous and swallows, but then his face is firm. "I came to get my daughter."

And Regina laughs and this time it is designed to be long and loud and cold. "You are no father."

"You stole her from us! Not just once but again and again! You took her from Storybrooke, from her son, from her family!" He is screaming, and Regina moves back just a hair to avoid the spittle that accompanies his rant.

But then she is in his face for she always gives as good as she gets. "She was in a cage! Did you know that?" Her voice is loud, her face reddened in anger. "Your beloved Snow took your daughter and locked her in a cage like an animal and performed magic on her and hurt her and," Regina chokes, and suddenly her voice is so much quieter. "And hasn't she been hurt enough? I hurt her with the curse so very badly but now I am making it up to her looking after her she is mine."

And it is Charming's turn to laugh, incredulous of it all. "What? She is not yours! She is the savior she belongs to no one and how, how could you imagine that she would ever care enough to stay with you, so you imagine." And he laughs harshly. "Do you truly think she loves someone like you?"

And Regina's shoulders droop the fight gone out of her and it's not fair, truly it's not, for she never mentioned love.

Love is for those with gentle hearts and blessed lives and she has not had either for a long long time (if she ever did).

She doesn't step aside, she still stands strong, for Emma will not be taken unless she wants to go. 

But for the first time she allows herself to think the thoughts she has been blocking, she acknowledges that Emma is too good for her, that she would be better and safer and happier elsewhere.

But then she hears it.

The door creaks open behind her, and she starts in surprise.

And there, on the stoop behind her, another shadow is cast forward, mimicking the other that's already there. The two shadows standing like sentries on either side of Regina.

"Emma," David gasps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that who you were expecting? How do you feel about their choice of David to go after Emma?


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

PART ONE

"What are you doing here?" Emma asks sounding much like the petulant teenager she never had the chance to be.

"Rescuing you," David says. And he means it to be a statement but it sounds much like a question.

"Uh huh," Emma nods, tilting her head slightly to the side and walking down the front steps past Regina and toward David.

And Regina's heart breaks this is it it's over it's all all over.

And Emma stands tall and firm and faces the man who once upon a time would have raised her. 

And now she laughs and Regina thinks to herself that for such a horrible depressing situation they have all been laughing far too much.

But Emma's laugh is soft and sarcastic and she shakes her head,"do I look like a prisoner? I'm free here,"

she glances back at Regina, and Regina she knows Emma and instantly knows she means freedom

in more ways than one

Charming opens his mouth 

"don't even say it," Emma continues. "there's no magic here. There never has been. So there's no spell no magic making me feel the way I feel."

Charming asks the question Regina wants to. "How do you feel?"

And Emma smiles and looks straight at her father and says,"I love her. I love Regina."

And Regina's heart explodes.

PART TWO 

It doesn't literally explode of course, but rather she feels so much more than she has felt in years

she never imagined 

after she watched Daniel's heart crushed to dust

she never imagined

that she would be loved again

she sometimes wondered even when she was a child even when she was happy with Daniel even when she was the Evil Queen

she wondered who could love her

was she truly loveable? She who had been detested by her own mother and vaguely liked by her own father and who had horrible things done to her by too many people to count--her mother the King Rumplestilskin--and who did horrible things herself; who would love that

if Daniel had lived his love may not have stayed and she fought in part because with him dead she'd never know if it was real

true love.

But Emma is definitive in her statement as she faces the man who put her in a tree who clearly loves her deeply who has been Regina's nemesis for far too many years to count (and who even knows how to count the years with the curses and enchanted lands and it is a riddle no one will solve), it is a riddle of how this woman can love her.

But Emma reaches a hand behind her and Regina watches it tremble and she realizes that Emma is worried what reaction her statements will cause.

Regina steps down behind her savior and grasps her hand

and Emma is instantly taller. 

"I'm staying here," and it is so very resolute and Charming knows it for he swallows again and slowly nods.

"You can visit but my," Emma chokes and Regina holds her hand tighter helping her will away the tears. "Snow is not welcome here."

Charming looks blankly at Emma as though the very thought of someone unwilling to see his precious wife is a puzzle he cannot solve.

The puzzle Regina can't solve is how this beautiful kind woman wants her

but she always knew that Emma was broken, broken for her

perfect

and she drops that train of thought when Emma steps backwards essentially pressing her body against Regina's front

her breathing is shaky and Regina can only tell because they are practically one.

Regina presses a kiss to Emma's shoulder

and Emma says, "What Regina told you is true. I don't know what's up with Snow, why she's being such a royal bitch--"

Regina chuckles and Emma mutters, "Shut up Regina."

And Regina drops her head and offers another kiss on Emma's shoulder in a sort of apology though really she is thrilled so thrilled that this Emma is the one who is winning.

"Regina didn't lie, Snow locked me in a cage. She and Blue did," Emma gasps and Regina gives up any regard she may have had for privacy and wraps her arms firmly around Emma's waist, stroking her stomach gently.

And Charming stares aghast.

And Regina thinks it may not be at what he is seeing so much as what Emma's reaction and words are suggesting.

Emma is crying now, but it's silent (though no less heart wrenching). In between her mute sobs she states,"they both used magic on me. Hurt me. Reminded me of everything bad that had ever happened or could have ever happened and made it happen all at once. And I think they wanted my magic to react to want to fight but it didn't work and all I wanted was Regina and," Emma sighs deeply. "She came."

They stand in silence, David seemingly speechless, Emma out of words.

Regina decides it is her turn to step in for Emma has said her piece

perhaps gained some peace 

"David," and Regina is surprised at how calm her voice sounds, "you can meet us for dinner if you'd like."

She doesn't bother to check with Emma for she knows despite all the control Emma took today she won't she can't deal with more decisions now. 

"There is a bar in town. Meet us at seven."

David nods.

And Regina who is still resting her palm against Emma's stomach spins them around and leads her savior into the house.

Emma holds her head high until the second they are out of David's sight. 

The door swings closed and she whimpers and Regina slides her hand to the small of Emma's back and tries to propel her quickly to some piece of furniture a couch or a chair before

but it's too late and Emma's legs give way while they're still in the corridor and she lands on her side on the floor arms barely breaking her fall.

Regina instantly drops down beside her

Emma is shaking, shivers wrecking her frame, shoulders hunched

Regina reaches out to touch her

and for the first time in a long time Emma shys away.

Regina's heart is cold

and there is dread

and Emma turns her head to the side and vomits violently

and Regina jumps into maternal mode.

Henry was sick a decent amount as a child

which may explain why he was such a voracious reader preferring, and in all honesty still prefers, adventures on the page over those outside

which is one reason The Book appealed to him so much 

which of course in a roundabout way gave Regina Emma

Emma.

Regina mutters reassurances and slowly scoots behind Emma, pulling back blonde hair and resting a hand on Emma's back.

She's not sure how long they sit like that but once Emma's breathing has finally begun to settle under her palm she eases her savior backward until Emma's shoulder blades are digging into her breasts.

Emma tilts her head away and Regina knows she is embarrassed 

but honestly someone who has watched thousands die at her command has seen her fair share of vomit

honestly someone who has raised a baby toddler boy child has seen her fair share of vomit.

Emma is still trembling and Regina huffs out a sigh her breath causing strands of Emma's hair to sway in front of her eyes.

And somehow those memories of Henry and childhood and looking after someone else awakes something in Regina and without even realizing it she begins to hum a lullaby

and when realization strikes and the irony of the the words which accompany the song hit her 

(the Shepherd's Cradle Song is well-suited for an Emma that could have been as it speaks of a shepherd protecting his family and a mother dreaming big dreams and yet it is nothing like Emma's childhood or life turned out to be)

and it is nothing Emma will have ever heard before

for Regina doubts she had many lullabies sung to her.

Regina herself only knows these songs from nursemaids but at least she had that.

And it causes her to ache but she can see how Emma is eased by the gentle hum of Regina's voice for she has turned her sweat soaked face toward Regina's throat and when Regina pauses when the realization hits Emma offers the smallest mewl of protest and were Regina not attuned to Emma Swan she would surely have missed it

but she is and Emma is unlikely to know the words and why should she not get this comfort and so she hums again and this time she weaves her hand through unruly blonde waves to match her tempo

_Sleep baby sleep_  
 _Thy father guards the sheep_  
 _Thy mother guards the dreamland tree and brings down many a dream for thee_  
 _Sleep baby sleep_  



	10. Chapter 10

PART ONE

There is something especially childlike about the Emma Swan who is sitting in the booth, a table separating her from the father she doesn't quite trust.

Her hair is still damp from the shower that Regina led her into when she woke, palm wrapped tightly around Regina's fingers like a toddler unwilling to let go.

That need for security is clearly still present, if the way Emma's thigh is glued to Regina's is any indication, her foot tucked firmly around Regina's ankle so that the older woman couldn't leave the table if she wanted to.

She doesn't want to.

Emma's damp unruly curls are making wet patterns on the back of the button down shirt and it's no surprise that the one decision she made today was when she grabbed Regina's favorite shirt and hurriedly yanked it on, buttoning it a little frantically as though terrified that Regina wouldn't let her wear it.

And now she is staring at her pancakes, head bent as the butter melts and she grasps her fork in a fist that has yet to approach her plate.

David clears his throat. "How are you Emma?" He asks softly. And it is clear he knows something is wrong.

Emma shrugs and doesn't take her eyes off her pancakes.

Regina tried to order something she knows Emma enjoys, something that won't be too rich for her stomach. She wanted to help, a somewhat novel concept in the history of the Evil Queen so it should come as no surprise that she failed.

Regina rests her hand on Emma's thigh and begins to make small sweeping movements with her thumb.

And Emma looks up for a second makes eye contact with her father and then flinches away, eyes back on the melting butter.

"How's the town?" Regina asks changing the subject for all involved.

And Charming begins to ramble about the diner and the library and how some of the dwarves are fixing the old clock tower, though he doesn't mention Snow or Henry.

He's in he middle of a somewhat amusing anecdote about Leroy when Emma interrupts, "did you know?"

She has moved closer to Regina during her father's storytelling and Regina's arm is now wrapped firmly around her shoulders and Regina herself has no idea when that happened.

David looks somewhat puzzled. Then again he has always been somewhat slow to the uptake, as far as Regina has seen anyway, so it is of no surprise that it takes him a moment to catch up to Emma's train of thought.

Regina would not need a moment. But Regina was trained for war and awareness and lest anyone forget it Regina is happy to remind them all, David is just a shepard's son.

The shepard's son who would be king, the miller's daughter who longed for nobility, how far their families have come. And fallen.

"Emma, no," and he reaches toward her before noticing her discomfort the way Emma flinches away from him toward the woman he once believed the most evil in all the lands.

And he sits taller in his seat, voice steady as he attempts to make eye contact with his daughter. For once the King he could have been. For once the father too. "Emma. I did not know."

The rest of the meal is pleasant enough, though Emma is still watching still deciding whether judgment is necessary she is also a participant albeit a quiet one. She nods occasionally and makes eye contact and if David had been here, had actually seen his daughter over the last several weeks, well...Regina deems it an accomplishment.

Neither of them need much nowadays to be proud for oh how far the mighty have fallen. Or perhaps never risen. It matters not.

PART TWO

Regina grunts from her place against the wall, noisily reciprocating as Emma corkscrews her fingers inside.

Her savior is crouched at her feet, mouth glistening from their first round, face sticky and hands damp and Regina could not care less.

Emma is glorious like this.

"Fuck me," Regina hiccups out.

The order causing Emma to shove into her deeper and deeper until she comes with a low moan and practically sides down the wall.

They are both quiet for a long moment reveling in the calm of the house only interrupted by the chirps of crickets and the thudding of their own heightened heartbeats.

"Missed you," Emma says shyly from behind lowered eyelids.

"Oh my, dear," Regina smiles gently at the blonde before chuckling and winking. "Me too."

And that night as Regina lies on her back across their bed and the ends of Emma's hair dangle patterns on stomach and Emma's tongue laves wet strips lower and lower as Emma breathes out what sounds suspiciously like a contented sigh well...

perhaps she has helped after all.

PART THREE

Charming David James, whatever they are all calling him at this point comes calling on them the next day.

"May I come in?" He asks shuffling his feet and reminding Regina of Emma far more than she would like.

Emma is curled up on an armchair by the fire and Regina cranes her head around the doorway body still blocking David from entering because if she's doing anything now she's keeping Emma safe.

And Emma's face twitches just enough.

"I suppose." Regina huffs and steps backward allowing her sworn enemy who may possibly though it is yet to be determined be of the former variety to enter her home.

And it's too bad there's no spell to disinvite him but though he is many things a vampire he is not.

"I think," David begins nervously, and if he had a hat Regina is sure he would be twisting it awkwardly in his hands. "Well that is to say...I talked to Ruby."

Regina crosses the room and sits on a chair near Emma. Only Emma looks surprised at the news but then she glances between her father and Regina and sometimes particularly lately it is easy to forget how intelligent Emma is, how quickly she gets things.

And Regina is mad at herself for even thinking such things about the woman she...has adjusted to.

"So your spy was Ruby." Emma states with a smirk that is her true, or at the very least old, personality shining through.

"Well, you can't very well allow me to leave our son unattended with only a couple of idiots, can you?"

David looks mildly irritated at the turn of phrase while Emma looks elated grinning from ear to ear and why

oh our son.

Well perhaps he is.

"He is your son." David says.

And Regina wants to behave like the uncouth Emma Swan of old and roll her eyes. Because yes obviously.

There was always contention of who the real mother was but never contention regarding the validity of at least one of their claims to him.

He was Regina's or Emma's or Regina and Emma's, never anything else.

Apparently now even in Regina's own head he is the latter which is bizarre to say the least

but Regina has little time to ponder it for David is still speaking and she is missing it and she supposes it may for once be important

or at the very least relevant since Henry is their son

(and she's thought it again).

"Henry does miss you," David continues and Emma glances toward Regina. "Yes," David sighs, "both of you. Even though he believes in the kidnapping."

And Regina does roll her eyes, Emma just looks puzzled.

"Kidnapping?" She asks softly, eyes firmly on Regina's face.

And suddenly it is clear to Regina perhaps to David too where Emma's trust lies. Regina who plotted and controlled and abused, Regina is the one Emma can read. 

"There was some indication, that well," and Regina fumbles, for once unsure how to explain what happened. She wasn't truly there, after all.

"Everyone thought Regina kidnapped you." David says bluntly.

"Oh." Emma says, eyes still on Regina's face, and Regina can practically see the blonde itching for contact.

"Come," Regina huffs, stretching an arm out, and without even thinking about it moments later Emma is sharing her chair, curled up with her cheek brushing Regina's shoulder.

And Regina dares Charming to question it.

Luckily, for him at least, he seems to know this is not a battle worth fighting.

And surely even he can see that Emma is now far more comfortable in her own skin, her breathing more even, her sense of security restored.

And Regina cannot help but think back to what David said when he first arrived, when he questioned whether Emma belonged with Regina. 

And Regina still knows not, for Emma is truly too good for her too pure but also oddly

perfect.

So while David continues his tale, which is proving to be important after all, Regina cannot help but wrap an arm around Emma's waist and draw her closer.


	11. Chapter 11

PART ONE

David disappears outside briefly and Regina breathes a sigh of relief, smiling as Emma's head lands on her shoulder and the younger woman breathes deeply.

She doesn't ask if Emma's okay because she knows the answer and it's not completely entirely the one she wants so why ask for confirmation?

Instead they sit in comfortable silence for several moments; they are still and they are them and it is somehow enough.

David returns bearing a greasy paper bag that he must have already had in his car for he was not gone long enough to make his way to the one diner in this town. No McDonald speed service there, but rather an elderly white-haired lady whose hand shakes as she takes your order and a brooding teenager with a streak of blue in her hair who is maybe slightly like Ruby and who spends most of her shift staring at her phone. So no, he did not have time to do that.

He pulls slick Styrofoam containers out of the bag, handing one over to Emma. She accepts it hesitantly as though not sure if she should be taking anything from him. He shrugs in Regina's direction and she rolls her eyes in response.

Instead she lifts the lid of Emma's container as the woman clutches the base in her hands, her eyes on her father with a look that even Regina can't comprehend.

Both the containers contain burgers and fries and though this is something that Emma would have eaten before it is likely to prove far too much for her now, her appetite constantly suppressed.

Still, Regina can hope. And who would have thought that one day the former Evil Queen of healthy eating would have been eager for anyone to eat a burger and fries. "Looks good," she murmurs in Emma's ear, nose pushing blonde waves aside.

"Mhmm," Emma mumbles back, but it's non-committal and Regina has to force herself not to force the issue.

David eats his burger eagerly while his daughter picks at her fries, and in between bites he continues to fill them in on what they have been missing.

David speaks of Snow's pregnancy and Regina is prepared for the tension to fill Emma's body before it happens and she wishes that everyone would stop causing Emma pain for...

well forever really.

He speaks of how happy they would all be if Emma could come back and meet her new sibling for Snow is due any day now and surely Emma wishes to be the best big sister she can be

and Emma's facial expressions fade into blankness

and Regina wishes it were still feasible (and acceptable) to throw fireballs.

He speaks of a new threat that has come to town, a witch with green skin and a penchant for speaking poorly of Regina.

If Regina audibly scoffs at that it's because, well, what else is new.

It matters little because the witch will be unable to cross the border and thinking of such things reminds her,

"how did you cross the border?"

"Ah," David says furtively as though he's about to divulge some great secret. "I used an item of Emma's from the Enchanted Forest, it bound me to her then and now, allowing me to cross with my memories intact, seeing as she was already outside the line."

And he pulls the simple white cloth from under his shirt and it is clearly tied somehow around his neck, then he is brandishing the crocheted stitching over his fries and ketchup and Emma's hand twitches against Regina's thigh though her expression remains blank.

"Do you still require it?" Regina yearns to put the blanket in Emma's arms where it is clearly desperately wanted.

And David looks confused as though he cannot understand what anyone would want with a worn and obviously much used piece of blanket

idiot.

"I need to keep touching it to retain my memories."

"Ah," Regina states even as Emma sags against her.

And she eases a hand under the back of her savior's shirt sighing internally as she feels Emma's spine sticking out running her hand soothingly up and down Emma's back away from her father's prying eyes.

After a minute of this a yawn erupts from Emma and Regina is pleased to see an expression flit across her face even if it is shock at the involuntary noise.

A few moments pass while David fills Regina in further about the green witch

(which Regina wants to laugh at because with magic why wouldn't one glamor oneself why does she choose to stay green? Clearly this woman does not wish for anonymity)

then Emma yawns again loudly and Regina turns to see that her eyes are flicking open and shut, occasionally glancing lazily around the room before slipping closed then popping back open.

Regina places a firm hand on Emma's head, pushing it upon her own shoulder while shifting her body so that there is plenty of space for the savior to rest.

David does not look so surprised even at this and Regina wonders if he is less of an idiot than she supposed. Perhaps he is merely ignoring the obvious for his own sanity.

Regina has barely removed her hand and Emma is asleep.

Emma's breath comes out in puffs of air against Regina's neck and while in the past Regina would never allow this for fear of poisoning or death or intimacy or something else all together, now Emma is not the only one to find it comforting.

"She can't go back." She states quietly.

And David frowns. "Would it be so bad? I still don't really understand what happened."

Regina raises her eyebrow.

"Okay, yes, I mean no. I mean I believe her, I just don't understand why."

Okay, idiot it is.

"Really dear?" Regina glances down at their savior curled against her body, slumbering peacefully.

"You didn't curse her."

"No."

"Because curses wouldn't hold in a land without magic."

"Right."

Regina thinks she is being remarkably calm all things considered.

"So you were really together...before?"

What is together? If he means sexually then...

"Yes."

"So Snow and Blue made a mistake, they were only trying to help her, to protect her, can't she see that?"

"The way you were trying to protect her when you sent her all alone to another world in a hunk of tree?"

"Emma is a good person, and good people forgive."

Regina scoffs loudly.

Emma stirs against her and she calms her with a simple sweep of her hand against Emma's forehead.

Only when Emma is clearly asleep again does Regina continue.

"Do you forgive me?"

Charming stares at her.

"Do you?"

"Yes..." he sounds hesitant.

"You shouldn't, not completely." Regina glances down at Emma fondly before continuing. "Some things are too horrible to forgive. You can try to move on, but things are never the same."

"But you hurt Emma too!" David looks so very offended.

"But I am now helping her more than I am hurting her, and I am not saying it makes up for the past but it balances the scales."

"So, Snow and Blue need to do something for Emma?"

"I don't think it works that way, not in the way you're thinking anyway, you can't simply decide to make someone happy to be around you again."

Emma whimpers and nuzzles closer before stilling.

"But they can do something for her, in a sense. They can let her maintain her power, which is in many ways what they attempted to take from her in the first place--"

David looks highly offended.

"Perhaps not purposely. Perhaps not both I'd them. But they did make her feel that way. So let her have power, let her make her own decisions for now. Let her heal."

"You're saying let her stay here."

"If it's truly what she wants."

"How do I know you aren't influencing her somehow, not with magic but with...other things?"

"Perhaps she'll be willing to spend some time with you, just the two of you. Tell her you just want to talk, not take her away, just talk. Do it somewhere she feels safe. Ask her yourself."

PART TWO

David has left and Regina whispered (rather loudly) after him to lock the door on his way out because her arms are still full of slumbering savior.

David will be back, she knows that much, he has not given up on Emma being his daughter the way he wishes her to be his daughter; in his home satisfied with her life and her loving parents and her adorable little sibling.

Sometimes Regina wishes Emma could have that, at least have that happiness. The sort of happiness that she cursed a whole land to try to find before the ultimate realization that she was not fated for such things.

She can be content though. She is content now. With Emma.

Even here, sitting silently in front of a former fire that is now only slight embers, she is content.

Emma should have had more. Was always fated for more. But too much has happened, perhaps even before Blue and Snow locked her in a cage, she will not find happiness in normality, much as (Regina is positive) she wishes she could. Perhaps even believes she still could.

So she shakes the blonde awake and smiles down at the sleepy expression that greets her prodding. Emma clambers off her lap, stumbling a bit before Regina reaches out to steady her.

And as they lie in bed side by side, mimicking every other night for months and months Regina breathes a sigh of relief.

Because her Emma is still here.

PART THREE

When Regina wakes it is to a room that is too bright and eyes that are sore and a throat that is stiff. And this is it, finally.

Her first real experience with illness in this world.

When her curse was in place everything was frozen, and everything included germs. But now? Not so much.

Still, she puts on a brave face and gets out of bed when her alarm goes off, ignoring the dizziness in her head in favor of placing a much needed breakfast on the table. Luckily Emma is not yet awake to see her stumble.

She's careful to avoid touching Emma too much, at least not skin on skin, for as inexperienced with being ill as she is, she can tell there is fever coursing through her skin and she doesn't want to alarm her.

Not her Emma whose eyes are slightly puffy from the tears that may have spilled during the night, who is hunched over a plate of toast and eggs, trying to choke them down because she knows that it will please Regina.

Regina is safe, or at least her secret is kept just that, because the doorbell rings. And she laughs 'saved by the bell'.

And it is David, here to do precisely what she suggested.

If only her subjects had been so loyal.

 


	12. Chapter 12

PART ONE

Her head is pounding and her skin is feverish and she really must lie down. Lie down immediately or risk falling.

And she's already fallen so far, in so many ways.

She practically drags herself up the stairs and drops into bed, for the first time in decades she forgoes undressing and makeup removal and just

she sleeps.

It is a long time before she wakes.

There is the feel of a cool cloth on her brow, water dribbling down her cheek, and she forces her eyes open.

She forces her eyes open, her vision bleary as she squints looking upward and Emma.

Emma is staring down at her with a pained gaze.

When she sees Regina is awake she forces a smile but it is weak, and if that alone did not betray her nerves the way she fumbles with the washcloth clenched in her hands is a sure sign.

Even ill Regina can tell that Emma is upset. Even ill she doesn't like it.

"Em-" her voice croaks and she pauses, swallowing hard with her stiff sore throat.

"Shhh'it's all all right."

Emma scoots closer to her and nervously strokes a hand over Regina's brow. When there's no complaint she does it again.

She feels Emma leaning against her and the weight is comforting, somehow.

Though Regina has always disliked being weighted down.

"Sleep." Emma murmurs in her ear. A command.

And Regina lets her eyes drift shut, her last conscious thought surprise and maybe even joy that Emma has stayed, Emma is here, and all will be, if not right, then at least--

Regina wakes sometime in the night and heaves over the side of the bed, the pitiful contents of her stomach spilling onto the clean wood floor.

Even as it is happening she remembers that Emma was here, may still be here, and so she muffles the groan that tries to erupt.

But it is apparently too late, she feels the bed shift beside her, the slight bouncing motion making her stomach clench and she gags loudly, uncontrollably.

This time there is a bowl shoved under her chin, a hand threading through her hair.

Emma must have run like the wind to grab it, and sure enough she can hear the pants of her savior.

Finally her stomach is empty and she practically collapses back into the bed, her whole body drenched in sweat.

 

PART TWO

She faintly recalls waking up several other times. To vomit, to sip water, to the feel of Emma helping her out of a sweat soaked shirt.

Still, when she is finally truly conscious again it is late at night. She knows this because the room is pitch black, a sliver of moon casting a light shadow on her bed. Emma is sleeping next to her.

But not in her normal position, no. Regina is temporarily surprised to see Emma curled up tightly beside her, arms wrapped around herself like a desperate hug.

And then she realizes.

Emma, her Emma, would be worried about disturbing Regina when she was ill. Wouldn't want to nestle her head against Regina's churning stomach.

She doubts Emma would be fearful of getting sick.

Not her Emma. Not any version of Emma.

The Savior. Sweet and powerful and caring.

But Emma is always worried about others. Will put them far beyond where she will place herself.

With a muffled groan Regina props herself up on her elbow, shifting her stiff body closer to Emma. She reaches a still shaky hand out and runs it down the Savior's arm, and Emma instinctively loosens her body, rolls toward Regina.

"'Gina?" It's a soft whine.

"Shh darling, it's all right. I'm all right."

"'K," Emma whispers even as she inches her body even closer. She sighs thankfully as she nestles against Regina.

 

PART THREE

When she wakes again it is morning, and Emma is gone.

Still, she doesn't experience any fear.


	13. Chapter 13

PART ONE

Regina lies in wait.

And oh, she has done that many times before. Like a lioness waiting for her prey.

Like an Evil Queen waiting to destroy her subjects.

But this time it is different. She is tired, for one. Tired in a way that she was not while magic thrummed through her veins. Tired in a way that she was not allowed to be after the King forced her to do unmentionable tasks in the dark of night.

For once, she is just Regina Mills.

A sick, tired woman.

And somehow that is far less disturbing than it once would have been.

Emma used to be a runner. Whenever things got too tough or too good, or really any modicum above average? Emma Swan would run.

Anyone who knows Emma more than a casual acquaintance knows this to be true.

Perhaps some who know her well would still say she is a runner. Her mother, her father. Yes, they would say that she has fled her perfect life.

Regina knows better.

Knows that perfection can just be fragile broken shards glued into some thing that looks pure. But isn't. Like a tiara on the head of a young girl. She is to be envied, to be bowed down to, to be emulated. And to be tarnished, to be beaten, to be fucked. Then perfect once again.

Emma Swan is like that, except her King was life.

And how ironic that Regina is swearing in her thoughts, she must be feverish still.

But Emma is--

A timid blonde head pokes through the cracked door. "Are you awake?" she whispers.

"Really darling?" Regina asks, and though her voice croaks her amusement is apparent.

"Guess so," Emma shrugs and ignores the snark.

Which, in all honesty, only serves to frustrate Regina more for she loves a good argument. Which in all likelihood Emma knows. So her form of torturing the older woman is to move on seamlessly.

"Are you feeling better?"

Regina sighs and lets go of her thrilling comeback. "I..." she decides to answer honestly, for once. "I think so. Yes."

She swallows and her throat feels mildly less stiff. Which she supposes could constitute better.

"Do you want something to eat?" Emma has entered the room now, and is standing nervously in front of Regina, awkwardly shifting on her feet while tucking a snarled blonde wave behind her ear.

Somehow this illness is making them less comfortable with each other, destroying the careful personas that they have built. Or, perhaps more rightly, that have been built around them.

Around their quirks and their desires and their comforts.

Regina's stomach is still sore. "I think not." She is cold though. "Come?"

And if there is a pleading in her eyes, a desire to have her bidding still seen to, to not lose Emma so soon, well...she is still ill after all.

Emma trips over her own feet in her eagerness, nudges her way under the covers. "I thought," she mumbles once her face is shoved firmly against Regina's shoulder.

There is a very long pause.

"What dear, what did you think?" Regina encourages.

"Maybe you didn't want me anymore."

Regina is shocked, for what has she done. She ignores her aching body, and forces herself to turn so that she may rest a firm hand on Emma Swan's shoulder. The girl still lies pressed against Regina, so solidly. "Why?"

"I dunno." Emma shrugs.

"Well. That's ridiculous." Regina licks her dry lips, and looks down at mess of blonde hair, the only part of Emma visible. Buried under sheets and blankets and hidden against Regina. "I will always want you."

Emma inhales sharply. "You...you can't promise..."

Regina scoffs. "I don't need to promise. I'm stating a fact. Facts don't need promises to stay true, they just always are."

Emma shakes against Regina, her standard silent cries. And Regina is glad that at the very least she doesn't have to see them this time. They cause her heart to ache. Still, the moisture seeping through her shirt is enough to tell her the wealth of tears.

"Thought," Emma gulps. Then murmurs, "thought I'd lost you."

"Nonsense." Regina states firmly, pressing a kiss on the top of her head. "I am right here, and I always will be." She allows herself to relax back onto the pillow, tugging Emma into a more comfortable position. "And besides, even if I'm not physically here anymore I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm slightly stubborn. I'll haunt you."

Emma chortles through her tears. "Yeah?"

"Obviously."

Things are silent once more.

"Now sleep darling," she says softly. "I'm exhausted, and I can't imagine how you feel having looked after me."

Another silent shrug. 

"Well, thank you, anyway. No one," she pauses, for admitting anything that could be construed as weakness hurts her very soul. "No one has ever looked after me like that."

"Me either," Emma whispers. "Until you."

And, there's no other word for it, they snuggle close to one other. Basking in the warmth of just having someone there who seems to care.


End file.
